Lessons for life
Leave a CommentLOL! Got this from a post in FB and decided to put in the thoughts to future view =)
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Starless night
Another Difficult night for me to get through.
Arghhhhh!!!!
Now i know
Now i really know, the feeling of missing someone is different compare to you have someone in sight or out of sight. Today, the 4th day…. Time passes so slowly, that im missing you like a helpless kid waiting someone to come and save him from darkness….
Its true, we really need to let go when the time is not right, no matter how much it hurts…. C, i will answer you now, the feeling is so so so unbearable when i still see her, every single day, minute, second i miss her, the urge to just tell her, i dun wanna let u go…..
How i wish youll see this.. To tell you im still awake to check my phone whether u called… To be ready when you say you need me now. Yet, do not worry, ill make you as comfortable as possible even i have to let you go…
I miss you, Pigerma.
“its empty within me without you;
time froze when you are not around;
how i wish,
the time only freeze when we’re together….”
Day 4
its raining out there, i hope you’re sleeping well without having any nightmare.
Day 3
never drink, never listen to love songs, never leave my buddy behind.
All i need now is a good distraction.
Anger management
Fuck you! You damn bastard! You asshole! You cheebai! You son of a bitch! You fucking whore! You short dick man! You smelly pussy!
How many phrase above have you actually used when you’re anger? Does it help in the conversation? If yes, does it help to release out the anger and to really show that you are in a deep hatred towards that person? Then, what about after incident, did things get better?
The point is here, why would we want to be such harsh when we’re in anger? It only helps me to get the satisfaction for that moment and things eventually getting worst. Those words will just boost your ego higher and higher, and you will start to say out something more even worst. It’s not good, especially when you’re arguing with your closed ones. I hated it when I did it, so does when other person said those words to me. The things that you said won’t be conveyed into the same meaning again, even yes, it wont feels right already.
So now, I’ve learned to control my anger before i talk, at least not with those vulgar words. Things got better =)
Joker
1. 10 years ago, the hare and the turtle had a race, the turtle won; And now, they had a race again and the turtle won again. Why? (Answers check below after you’ve read it all)
2. A black cat and a white cat bumped into each other and dropped into the drain. When the black cat saved the white cat, what did the black cat says?
3. What animal that pink panther hate the most?
4. In the old movie of Superman, he used 1 hand to fly while the other hand is next to his waist. But now is the new movie of Superman, why did he use both his hand to fly?
5. What kind of drink that people would call them to shut up?
- Because the turtle had transformed to ninja turtle!!!
- Meow… cats don’t talk.
- Answer would be WOLF,because.. DaLang..DaLang.. DaLang DaLang DaLang DaLang DaLang…. the song of the pink panther. The LANG means wolf in chinese
- In the old times there is only manual where you need to control the gear, and now superman fly with automatic gear so he used both hands XD
- coffee, because KOPIDIAM!! XD
It might seems that above jokes are real lame, but I’ve always use these to make a starter to others, where I believed that laughter is the best communication to interact with people. You must be a joker at times, for people to laugh at you, or laugh with you.
That’s why, I don’t mind people laughing me for having a thick hair or having a fat tummy, at least you guys had a laugh today XD
Consequences
There’s an old Chinese saying: when you’re in fault, admit it; when you gets the punishment, stand straight and bare for it. Been done a lot of mistakes lately, promises made are forgotten. The consequences are not the scolding or the punishment that you get, but is the despair and regrets that you got to bare with it, on both parties. No one take notice on the scolding, even yes it’s only for the few minutes or just few hours. Yet, the scars, it is carved in your heart and you have to leave it there for the rest of your life no matter how had you forgotten about it. At that time, saying sorry is not enough anymore.
Made a lot of promises while some are remembered, some are not. And now, consequences had appeared and you can’t do anything but only to keep silence and only to reflect what damage you’ve cause to the other party. So right here, I SINCERELY would wish to apologize for the things I’ve mistakenly made and I am baring with the consequences.
For the people out there, there are few things that you can’t turn back. Firstly, the words you’ve said; secondly, the time you’ve wasted on and thirdly, the mistakes you’ve done. Never, ever simply make a promise to the others unless you can really make it happen. In addition, not only promises, try not to say those harsh words even you’re in anger. You would never know, how much it would meant to the other person.
